At the End of the Road: One Mans Journey from Chaos to Clarity

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Doolan, now 72 and serving a year jail term for the abuse he subjected his nephew to as a child, is a well-known figure in legal circles but his life as an abuser has never been publicised before now. Despite repeated court appearances and several criminal trials, he could not be named for legal reasons.

Those legal restrictions have now expired, and his nephew has decided to waive his anonymity to speak to The Irish Times. Doolan worked as a criminal barrister as a younger man before going on to lecture in the law. He was senior lecturer in legal studies in the business faculty at Dublin Institute of Technology.

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He wrote books regarded as the definitive works of reference for those studying in the field and for legal practitioners. One of his seven legal texts, Principles of Irish Law , was first published in The eighth edition was published in , by which time, unbeknown to its publishers, he was under investigation for a string of sex crimes.

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Back in the s Doolan also became one of the first single men in the State to adopt a child from abroad, a baby boy from eastern Europe who is now an adult. However, The Irish Times has learned that long before he had legally adopted a child abroad, Doolan registered a bogus home birth in Dublin. Reliable Garda sources said he regretted using his own name when registering the bogus home birth for a child who never existed and decided against persisting with his plans.

When he later adopted legally, an acquaintance who knew he was a sexual abuser went to Dublin Airport to try to convince him not to leave the country to collect the child. However, Doolan travelled. He then made history in taking a challenge to the Labour Relations Commission to the laws that offered no parental leave to single adoptive fathers.

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Doolan was convicted more than 12 months ago of abusing his nephew Stephen over a four-year period beginning in He had pleaded not guilty to 44 counts of abuse, including 11 counts of rape, and was convicted on all but two counts. Stephen had just turned 13 years when the abuse began and was 16 years old when it ended. His life would later descend into a haze of alcohol abuse, violence, disorder and self-harm as he self-medicated and spun out of control.

And on another occasion he took a meat cleaver to his body and still carries a large scar on his wrist as a reminder. He is a year-old father-of-three, including a newborn, and runs two successful online retail businesses. For kicks, he drives racing cars; quite successfully, too. He won the Hawthorn Trophy, a national competition for circuit racing. He also has several other national titles on his CV and spent a couple of seasons racing in Britain.

Lately he has been climbing mountains and has just returned from scaling Island Peak, close to Everest. He was 20 before he told his parents about the abuse, but it was another 12 years before he was able to contact the support agency One in Four. Another six years would pass before his uncle was convicted.

The process fostered inner strength and personal growth, he says. But at the same time it nearly killed him, especially the combative court case, which made him feel like he was the one on trial. It all started in Dublin in Stephen was a schoolboy living in Swords, ready to leave primary school.

One man’s long fight to put the uncle who raped him behind bars

Doolan, he says, was the self-appointed head of the family; the most educated of them all and the high achiever to whom everyone turned for advice. He was one of six siblings. He was fiercely independent, paying his way through college with part-time work. On leaving secondary school, he first worked as a postman before his time at Trinity. Once there he worked night shifts in the Irish Press.

When his brother was electrocuted aged 21 on a building site in England, he was the one who stepped forward to go and collect the remains, sparing his parents the ordeal.

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How we interact matters. Jennifer: Right, absolutely. Gabrielle: Exactly. Jennifer: Yeah, which is a huge shift. We can really start to shift the thinking where the rubber meets the road. Then from the other side too, if we as people going through it start asking for more, for an elevated way of doing this, I think that the common thread now is get the bulldog. Kramer and War of the Roses happening. Now we have more The Good Divorce. Jennifer: Right, yeah.

We go over in the book, I have a whole section on different approaches to your divorce, and how to select a lawyer. The one thing that you really need to tap into here as a person going through a divorce is into your inner tuition. What we really want to do is start feeling good right now.

As long as we know we only have one life, and why would we went to waste our days feeling bad and fighting? Get clear on what you want. Forgive yourself for being human and for having all these feelings that many of which may be negative. Jennifer: … stuff going on. Even though things might be out of key, and the fingering might be bad, or this or that, we just worry about bending the pinky for this week. Pick one thing. You might be feeling unclear, and full of shame, and incredibly impatient, but pick one element, and then within that element, pick one practice, and do it regularly on a daily basis, and make it part of your routine.

Then maybe as that becomes habitual, pick up another one. Start accentuating the positive. You do need to go through the process. Gabrielle: Thank you. I just made it up. Jennifer: Oh, well. You can expand along the way. By just validating the common pieces, we can make so much headway. They loved each other, right? And so there has to be a commonality. Listen, some cases are very difficult at first blush to resolve. For instance, a relocation. Someone wants to take the kids out of state. Okay, we have to take a break. When I decided to sell my jewelry after my divorce, the most important thing to me was finding a company that I could trust, and one that would also advocate for me.

I found this and so much more at Worthy. Their expert staff immediately put me at ease, and helped me to get the best price possible for my jewelry. Your engagement ring can be a symbol of your freedom, your journey, and the choices you have made to live your life on your terms, and create the future you desire. We are back with Gabrielle Hartley, and we are talking about this radical way to separate. One of my favorite quotes from your book is the following.

Gabrielle: That is such a great question, Jen, because I think a lot of us are so stuck in the present. What I want to mention is the idea of creating a vision that you then internalize, okay?

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So I all it VIR, visualizer, internalize, and realize. When we create the vision, we need to be specific with as much detail about what we want to manifest. We want to keep it positive. That was done purposefully.

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What I would suggest that you do is get yourself something that you enjoy to write in, like a nice journal. Just imagine what your life could be, and let yourself go as fanciful as it comes to your head. Who we are is something that we want to be able to look back on and feel proud of, and feel like our children, if we have them, or our friends, or even just our own spirits or souls can look back upon and feel good about. Jennifer: Yes. This is a great time to take a big, deep belly breath, and to start engaging and rooting with ourselves, and reimagining what our life can look like.

Jennifer: Yeah, you tune it out. Gabrielle: Yeah, but I recently had someone contact me, it was a kind of interesting perspective. Jennifer: Yeah, but you know what? Whatever, right, the specifics, but it is true. This in-depth episode explores personal values through conversation and live coaching with Michael Doyle. This conversation with Michael Doyle former colleague at Red Hat explores what we found in Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday and reflect it back on ourselves.

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This deep conversation with Michael Marvosh explores meaning and life lessons with prompts from nature and our own life experiences. Vinod Jain works as a technology and management consultant in Northern Virginia. In this conversation we explore how get got to where he is today and the personal journey he is on.